Welcome to SR toomuch. I think you're going to be glad you signed on.
I felt all alone until I came here. No one in my life understood what I was going through & it was impossible to explain to people who drank normally. To know there were others with my same thoughts and feelings really meant the world - and it strengthened me. I was able to give up a lifelong habit and have a whole new beginning. Congratulations on making the decision to come here.