wow! feels quite overwhelming getting responses and like a rush of emotion being able to talk about what I'm going through.
its so weird trying to open up about it all I go through a rush of omg they all understand I want to get it all off my chest to freaking out about sharing stuff.
Elegantly wasted I am sure you're right about denial issues I find that I have two sides of my head - the one that knows alcohol was so bad for me and I had to stop and the other that says 'what are you going on about, you don't need to stop' and there is a part of me that feels so ashamed to accept that I have to stop it actually makes my head hurt.
It so hard to try and actually write down which is why I guess these forums are so helpful.
I hope that makes some sense...sorry I thought I would be able to explain myself better!