Hi sideview. This is my first time on the forum and nice to read your threads as you sound similar to me. I have been a binge drinker for about 15 years since my teens and spent the last 5 years trying to drink in moderation and then beating myself up for slipping up and ending up trashed. Its hard because as a binge drinker other people try and convince you its OK, and you can get encouraged by other people who see you as a party person. Being completely sober is the only way to stop that 'slippery slope' and after 4 months I love the relief of knowing I will never have to face a shameful episode again. Keep going - you CAN do it!