Thanks Fini and Todd. Yes, reasons for being sober are more important to focus on; what a great point! I feel that the main reason I drink is because I just don't want to stop. Or, The Beast does not want to stop; it is very clever.
I hope to stay in the driver's seat for the rest of my life. I will never drink again; that is my mantra. I am thankful for this site and this forum. I just never understood the "one day at a time" deal. I don't want to drink. I am saying "never again" or "not for 200 years." Drinking is bad for everyone and I want a better, sober life. I was a lot happier being sober.