New (recovering BF)
Hi everyone! I'm new to this site. I joined because I am in a relationship with a man who is a recovering alcoholic/drug user. I met him in Jan 2012 and our relationship has had it's ups and downs. On 2/16 his stepdaughter accused him of touching her vagina. That sent him to go on a bender and he tried to commit suicide. He was in a treatment facility for a few weeks and is now just finishing extensive outpatient. He goes to NA meetings 5 days a week.
He is a very loving, kind man. His addictive personality is hard for me to deal with though. He moves from one addiction to the next. After he stopped drinking, he turned to smoking, energy drinks (Monster) and video games.
The stress has been hard on me. My home had to be opened up to Children and Youth because of this sexual abuse allegation & I have kids. I don't believe he touched his stepdaughter. The 3 boys were in the room at the time and it was a Saturday morning. His ex wife and stepdaughter have caused nothing but trouble since we started seeing each other. Many times I asked him to just let the stepdaughter stay with her mom, but he wanted joint custody of her, along with his son. The legal end of it stinks! He appealed with Children & Youth's indicated finding, has a sexual abuser assessment coming up May 8th and if that comes back that he is not an abuser, hopefully the DA will not charge him and see that his stepdaughter is an evil child. She has been on psych meds for years. The whole situation just makes me sick.
When my BF was drinking, he was much more affectionate. He would always be hugging, kissing and brushing up against me. He would sit and stare at me and when I would glance at him, he would always say "I'm so in love with you" or "I'm so lucky to have you." Why did all of that have to stop? Sex with a addict is hard, as many of you may know. The penis doesn't work well under the influence. With that being said, our sex life has improved, but that affection has not.
So I'm here to gain insight into the world of addiction. I have been supportive and patient, but to be honest, I feel numb. I don't want to turn my back on him, but how do I get him to understand how all this is affecting me?
I guess I rambled enough. Just feeling lost and alone. Not sure what my future holds.