Thank you all, from my heart. It seems corny to say that this internet forum saved my life, but, uh, this internet forum saved my life. I'm so grateful it's here for me and for anyone else that's struggling to get their bearings while in the grip of addiction. Since I am unable to attend Al-Anon meetings, this has been my first place to go to when I need help, need some wisdom, and need some feedback, and it still is. I found out that my husband was a serious alcoholic about the same time I realized I was pregnant with my daughter. My panic and desperation brought me here.
When I first heard people's "success" stories, it all felt so far away from me and so unattainable. But I can tell you this: this single mom of two children, with two babydaddies, tons of personal and professional mistakes in my history, and buckets and buckets (and buckets) of debt, is going to figure this out. It's a matter not only of survival, but of quality of life. I deserve it -- not because I'm a good person or a better person, but because it's my responsibility as a mother, and because it's part of my humanity to live to my full potential. I deserve to be free of chaos and violence. So do my children. This can only happen if I take control of my life by exercising healthy boundaries and giving myself an array of healthy choices to choose from.
This is far from over, but this absolutely does feel like a huge benchmark. Again, I'm just so grateful to SR. Seriously.