she said her dad and I leaving her there stranded makes her want to do drugs.
That's an interesting comment, full of clues as to how far her journey into recover has gone.
Not far at all it seems.
There is a big plus though, she willingly went to rehab to dry out. But that's all that has happened, she has detoxed.
One would feel justified to be rewarded, as in, "look I don e the right thing, now let me have this or that, OR I will hurt myself again so you can be hurt", type of "logic".
Sorry, the woman may be dry, but she may require now to take other steps to deal with perceptions. That being, ultimately she did it all to herself and admitting her own mistakes.
I say this from my own experiences, I blamed everyone else to for being "left out" or felt like an outsider. It don't mater if it's male or female, basicaly it's similar.
an alanon's perspective and their experiences may be the next call for you as parents.
I speak from as if on her corner, as one who has recovered from "victim" and finally did admit, "I done it" type of thing.
I hope she does not go "back there" and her common sense prevails.
Her child's birthday, something to consider, that is to take that drive 4 hours away and have a birthday with her child, it will buy some time and extend the hope at rehab. It's only a suggestion, 4 hours is a long drive there and 4 hours back....seek advice first don't just take my word for it.
I'm a parent to and know what it's like to not have my kids around when I needed to be with them.