You have come to the right place for support. Welcome! One thing that stuck out for me in your post is that you have this feeling that something serious is going to happen. I hope that you listen to that voice. It is telling you something that can not be ignored. From my own experience, i did not listen and I lost a great deal form it. There really is no time like the present to get yourself on the right track. We are here for you and will always be a strong support. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing. Please keep posting and reading. This community is really wonderful.