Ohhh (((((Madison)))))
Please, never be embarrassed. It happens to many of us, no matter how much time we have invested in our recovery and ourselves.
Example. In early 2010 I received a phone call from my 'first real love' whom I had not seen or been in contact with for 43 years. Well, yep, this old heart went 'pitty pat' and after 2 or 3 phone calls I accepted his offer to come visit him in Florida. That set off 10 months of DENIAL on my part, and getting more and more miserable. I refused to see the Elephant in the Room.
We did a lot of traveling and flying back and forth to each others homes. In early October of that year, I finally WOKE UP full force to the fact he was a 'fricking practicing alcoholic' and that was the reason we broke up so many years ago. Sheesh talk about being a 'slow learner' or 'still being in denial' IT WAS ME!!!!
I flew home and went No Contact. And it finally became apparent to me just how 'stressful' those 10 months had been (I am a diabetic and stress is NOT good for a diabetic at all!) when in early January of 2011 I ended up in the hospital for 5 days all, I believe a direct consequence of those 10 months. Continued to be on SR, but I can tell you that my Alanon meeting schedule sure picked up big time!!! lol along with my calls to my Alanon sponsor in California! I also revived my 'visits' to my therapist for almost all of 2011. All helped me to get 'back on track' and to see I was just 'human' and not "Super Woman." One more time.
So, be grateful you realized this sooner than I did, as you won't have harmed your body with that much more stress!! You opened your tool box and you will do great!
Do NOT be embarrassed! This thing called 'recovery' is a road of 'progress' not 'perfection.' We have these little 'bumps' in the road. Does not make us 'bad' people. Just makes us human and for me grateful I was not perfect (doG that would be so boring!).
Enjoy your vacation with your daughter!!!!
Welcome back!!!! We are walking with you in spirit! I am looking forward to your posts and your ES&H!
Love and hugs,