I'm sorry to hear your struggles Rugby, I can tell you that it is possible with a belief in yourself. No way is easy but that's why it's worth it, Sobriety and it's benefits can tell you that in itself. The strongest discipline is that which we can apply by our own doing, Knowing that it is a good one and wholesome for us and everyone around makes it an even more worthwhile endeavor. Let me encourage you with a quote which helped early on in my beginning days of recovery. "Be the change you wish to see in the world"