Hey all.
First off, want to say thank you to SR and all of you for your posts. I have found this place immensely helpful in my journey to seek complete sobriety.
I finally read Rational Recovery and it has opened my eyes to many things, but wanted to share two things with those of you who are practicing AVRT to stay sober.
1. As I was reading about the beast, I had a flash of a memory of the first time I really drank. I didn't drink until college. In fact, I used to think beer was disgusting and couldn't understand why my dad drank it. My mom used to say, "it's an acquired taste." So as I was reading about the beast, I saw myself at a frat party that all of my friend's went to and drinking a Natty Light and saying "this tastes terrible!" (Granted it was NL, not exactly the champagne of beers). Then this voice said "It's okay. It's an acquired taste. You'll learn to enjoy it."
OMG. That was the first time my AV appeared. My beast was already trying to convince me to drink, even before I got started.
2. My beast only has one goal in life: to get the pleasure/high from drinking. As I continued to read I found myself picturing my beast as Towlie, a character from the TV show South Park. For those not familiar with SP, Towlie is a talking towel who only wants to get high from marijuana. He goes around town saying "want to get high?" and is thought of by the boys of SP as sad and pathetic. They often say, "you suck Towlie." And, "you're the worst character ever Towlie."
Towlie is a very sad, pathetic, stupid being that just wants to get high. Envisioning my beast that way makes any AV thoughts ridiculously proposterous. Poor Towlie. Too bad for him. I've made my BP and I'm sticking with it. No sad little towel is going to entice me to change my mind.
Anyone else envision their beasts in a similar way?
Appreciate all of your posts. Hope it was okay to post this here, still not 100% sure of the rules on the Secular Forums.
Thanks for reading.
