Dear Max, basically, I echo Learn2Live's thoughts. You have my empathy on this.
Having said this, I would say --don't panic---because MORE WILL BE REVEALED. You have made your feelings very clear to him--he knows how you feel. You can't control him, however. Making a huge noise will likely cause him to blame you as a "controlling b****"
(or something similar). Trust that MORE WILL BE REVEALED.
There will be other women who have had to face similar issues in alanon--as well as others here, on SR.
sincerely, dandylion