From Working With Others..
"People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status."
Digderidoo,
Sorry to hear about your current struggles. Great choice to bring this up. You may find it helpful to bring it up face to face with other AAs as well.
I'm not trying to criticize your program. That's not why I posted the above excerpt. I don't know where you are at spiritually, but when I read a post like yours from an AA member, my mind immediately goes to spiritual health. One thing I have noticed is that a spiritually fit person does not desire a drink.
My suggestion, take it or leave it, would be to take an honest look at your spiritual life. Are you being honest in all areas of your life? Do you have any amends that you are avoiding? Are you spending time with your Higher Power often? Are you helping others? Cutting corners with responsibilities? Are you practicing the principles in all your affairs? etc.
These are the types of things I need to look at when I am not feeling up to par. My shortcomings in those areas manifest as restlessness and irritability in other areas of my life. Eventually those things lead to a desire for a drink.
Wish you the best!