jkb,
one of the contradictory pulls i experienced was very much the "everything is different" in a not-liking way, not-knowing-what-to -do-with-it and not knowing how to BE with/in everything-is-different...and being very much aware that the reason i quit was because i needed things to be different!
ha; i wanted/needed drastic change and then bitched to myself and others about the change....
just keep going.