"I have been backing off over time and see the massive changes and improvements in my life thanks to doing so."
Florence,
I don't think I can offer you any wisdom that you haven't already expressed in this very thread. You always offer such spot-on and thoughtful responses to others' posts on this board.
You've lived this. I think if you believe that he is on a rapid downward spiral - then you are quite likely right. I know that it is a hard thing to accept and your codie brain is trying to distort your rational thought and what the logical brain knows to be true.
"I want this out of my life. I don't want to be responsible for him. I don't like the way this makes me feel."
Pretty clearly stated wouldn't you say?
I know that this saying is so cliche - but this is your one life. It is not a dress rehearsal. No one else lives in your skin, in your head. I wonder if your temptation to defend your decision to leave him or your quest for validation stems from a distorted perception about what others believe. Isn't it only the enablers and those who don't want to face the reality of his disease who would not be able to see why you need to do what is best for you? Do you genuinely value their judgements?
Let me tell you who's judgement I value........YOURS!
Trust yourself.
Sending you lots of support and hugs.
MamaKit