Atalose, You certainly pinpointed the way I jump into relationships. The guys present themselves as the ideal mate, and then I idealize them even more. I'm not sure I've ever actually seen a man for who he was at the moment; I've always just seen who he could be after I transformed him with my love. What a joke.
If I consider what I DO NOT want in a partner, all that comes to mind is the fact that I DO NOT want a partner at all. I have never been single a day in my life since I was 13 years old--I am 40 now. This last relationship with my exabf really did me in. How can I ever fully recover from the effects of his betrayal? I know I can find happiness and peace alone, but how can I ever trust myself in a relationship again?
I have my kids and I'm a good mother, albeit a little codie and overprotective at times. I'm also a good friend. But I suck at relationships, and all they have ever been for me is a constant source of pain. Why bother with them anymore?
Anyway, thank you for your kind words.