Beth, You are right. Alcoholics are nothing like kids and pets! I guess I was thinking about the times I got sick, or was upset about something, and he was never there for me as a source of strength because he had the emotional maturity of a moody, irrational teenager. The difference is that kids are immature because they are kids which is developmentally appropriate, and alcoholics are immature because they are sick.
You brought up a very interesting point about narcissists using the word love to punish people. I think you are onto something there and it's given me a lot to think about.