Odd Day
Its a very odd contrasting day.
One one hand, I have my youngest brother (25) heading in a great new direction. He is trying to become an EMT & firefighter, he just left a draining relationship, he is studying and doing all the right things, he has his last big test tomorrow. He struggled with weed when he was younger (which is limiting his options with being a firefighter due to some charges when he was 18, luckily those become a non issue in a few years).
But I am so so proud of him and wish he lived closer so I could spend more time with him. He pretty much has had no guidance in his life, parents were just not there for him growing up so I am glad he is finding ways to move forward in not so positive surroundings.
Then on the other hand, my other brother (33), who previously had his life together, is off to court again today. He will likely find out if he is going to prison for his original charges or if they will give him another chance for screwing up his first probation attempt by using. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, so no clue where his head is at (he at least has respected my no contact request). I am hopeful that rather then prison he gets moved over to the drug courts which I think offer him some additional treatment options.....course, he still needs to want them, no clue if he is ready for that yet.
Just an odd day with seriously opposite feelings.
Debating on going to visit my AB in jail later this week, just to say hi and check in, make sure he knows he still has someone who cares about him (no one in our dysfunctional family has been in touch with him at all). He will either be moving to a halfway house later this month or going to prison. I still love him and want to see him succeed, I want at least to be someone he can chat with when he starts actively participating in his recovery, but just don't know where he is.
Decisions decisions.
Maybe I should instead just send a plane ticket for my youngest bro to come out and visit....that might be time and money better spent.