I just wanted to post a reply to this.
First thanks to lots of you, especially rob, I intend to ask his advice on pain management.
Second, I have been feeling great the last few days. Ok yes I'm in pain as usual and i'm exhausted but my mental attitude has been great. I looked in my diary that I have been keeping for the past 8 months and I noticed a pattern. After a month sober I always seem to pick up mentally, everything feels positive and good. I'm still stuck at the level of activity I was before but it's easier to deal with. It's just a reinforcement of why staying sober is so important.
It's a good night tonight, despite the cold which makes my pain and muscle stiffness worse I was able to stand outside and for the first time in 4 months I looked at the stars through my rather expensive telescope and felt so much better. I spent the rest of the night using high powered binoculars to look at the moon, picking out all the features I could and in a way it helped me realise something.
I am a small piece of matter on a very large planet, but the chances of my atoms coming together to produce me at this point in time is so incredible that I have a choice. I can choose to use this gift of conciousness, this random event, to be useful to this world. Or I can throw it away, drinking myself into oblivion.
I know exactly what I want to choose.