but it definitely seemed to do the job I was asking it to, while I was using it.
Yes, this is true, but for me it eventully stopped consistently doing that too. I could be unexpectedly nasty, or weepy, or suddenly naked...toward the end it was anybody's guess. The drink doesn't turn on everyone, but it did me.
So, I feel like I'm stuck in No Man's land. I used to be this really fun person that got invited to all the parties with an unspoken pass to the V.I.P lounge. I was the girl with the backstage pass! And now, I'm just like a sad person standing on the outside of a window, watching all the people on the other side have fun.
You haven't lost your "cool" just because you quit drinking. You may have misplaced your "cool" for a minute, and when you find it again, it may look different than you remember it. You've done harder things than this before. I think you are a survivor. You will figure this all out.