Originally Posted by Bluegalangal

Yeah, I try so hard to detach and not answer his judgements and criticisms and get pulled into defending myself but then I do. I leave feeling shaken and sometimes almost suicidal. And then I realised just the other day, that, no - if the point of this is to help "us" communicate, revisiting and outpouring more rage is not going to help that. So I told him no. The negative self talk about me is an issue in any case, but it's an issue he needs to own and deal with, on his time with his sponsor and his therapist, not on "my" time or "our" time. Because that's not something *I* can can change, how he views me.