Originally Posted by
Bluegalangal 
Thank you for this, dandylion. I just realised this yesterday. And there seems to be no end to the venom. Once or twice? Maybe. Every week, new and the same old complaints? No. I told him that that was something for his individual therapy, not for joint counseling. It does not help me, or "us", to hear his bitter same complaints week in and week out. Like he is wallowing in them and determined never to leave his mud pit.
It's funny, I just came back to this today and looked at my calendar. AH and I have our marriage counselor today. He's made some minor changes on the surface, maybe I'll see if in counseling if they are real heart changes or just those apparently surface changes? And, yes, with my AH it's the same old complaints and condemnations week after week. And, quite frankly, I'm no better because I get caught in the same defensive patterns over and over.