Yeah so the newest update as of 3 pm is that coincidentally (I think not) I got told by my boss NOT to go to a department meeting after school and instead got pulled into her office.
She sat me down and told me she'd had a parent complaint on Monday about me. I asked her to explain and she told me a story about a student who felt I'd been unfair on Friday. I pointed out that that student was absent Friday and asked what was really going on. She turned about 100 shades of red and said "after careful consideration I decided to recommend you TODAY to Dr. X (superintendent) for non renewal".
She met with him an hour after me and I'm guessing was questioned about my concerns and this is renewal (or not) time of year so she did the only thing she could (well, she could have been honest and taken responsibility) and told him I suck and gave her recommendation which by the district policy he HAS to present to the board.
So I have no job after June.
I'm having a rough time accepting this with grace and being okay. I am panicked, a non renewal is like a scarlet letter in teaching, it implies you suck. I have nothing but positive reviews but none of it matters. All that matters until you have tenure is that moment when you are either renewed or not.
I feel worst of all for my students who are already troubled, at risk kids who have given me their trust finally. They have had 3 teachers in 3 years and there will be another new teacher next year. It seems so wrong.
Several other staff who began with me this summer (this is my first year there) were also given the same speech today. They too are good teachers.
I am panicked about finding a job. Majorly.
I don't regret talking to the superintendent at all still and I know deep down I couldn't have done anything differently but it still hurts. I busted my butt all year, I have had other case managers come to me for advice/help with IEP's, I am really good with the tough kids I teach and the thanks I get is to not have a job next year.
The district is being funded largely by grants and a huge one wasn't renewed so my guess is that administrators were told to cut people high on the pay scale (which I was bc of years of experience and degrees). All the people cut today have 10 plus years of experience. It's really crummy in teaching that contracts thanks to unions are based on how long you have been in a district and not on merit and competency.
I'm really, really down and really, really panicked about finances.