Thnaks, both of you!
Huh, I got kicked out of SMART online about 3 or 4 years ago? Something like that, when a lot of folks did...so I'm not sure how well I could do an online meting. Maybe! It's a long story, best left in the past, I think.
Though the in person version of SMART seemed so much different. It is like, on the internet, people seem so much, well, meaner...and I find it hard to feel that level of closeness. It's hard to explain, I guess I am an old-fashioned, face to face, hands on sort, more extroverted than not...the net has helped some, but when I look at all the bickering and posturing, I was even scared to post again, today. I feel pretty safe on this thread, but if I post elsewhere, it's made me run away pretty quick. It's not that I'm thin skinned, I just don't find a lot of arguing helpful, especially when your emotions are all raw.
I appreciate the help, and as for that emptiness, well, I'm just not a spiritual person, I have found. I am 45, and just never had those feelings, in any way that I could ever explain. I just believe the universe is random, and doesn't care about anyone or anything, it just is, I don't believe in Karma, or anything like that, you could say, not to put down anyone who does, but it's never been in me, part of me.
I have a lot of anxiety issues, I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and agitated depression, it is like I am sad and angry and anxious, a lot of the time.
Well, it's 2 days of not drinking, so there is that, but my trouble is I go say 5 to 7 days, and then go way over the top, drink like 15 drinks in a long night on the weekend....not too healthy, I know.