Bombshell

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking for a while and haven't posted for ages. Today I finally came clean - in all honesty, not sugarcoating - with my doctor about my alcohol problem and low moods. He said that I am depressed, which I have suspected for a while but was too embarrassed to approach him about (he has known me since I was a child) and also says that I am an alcoholic, a 'functioning' one.

Well, I knew this already. I drink about 2 bottles of wine a night, most nights. I know that I have a problem, even though to be honest it feels like it's happening to someone else, not me. The thing was, he seemed to think that the alcohol use is a symptom of my depression. To an extent, I believe him, as when I'm feeling a bit more secure or I know I simply can't drink (e.g. driving early in the morning) I have no urge to drink. But when I feel low and I have the opportunity, I drink.

So he gave me antidepressants, which I will start to take tomorrow. However, as an afterthought, as I was leaving, he said 'Oh, there's a tablet you can take that will stop you drinking, as you'll get really sick if you drink on it. It'll help with the willpower'. I asked did he mean antabuse; he did.

This is where I feel a bit weird. Firstly, even though he said that I'm 'obviously an alcoholic', he said he didn't think I need to stop drinking. (What the hell??!) He said I could plan a couple of nights a week where I have a glass of wine or two by myself, and drink on nights out 'normally'. And he said that I should take the antabuse every morning when I wake up, apart from those couple of days when I've 'scheduled' a drink. He said they're like 'willpower in tablet form'. The idea being that if I'd taken them that morning I wouldn't drink (knowing the consequences) and then the next day, if I'd decided I could drink, I could just not take them.

I'm not asking for medical advice here by any means, I know it's not on. But from what I've read, you just can't take antabuse for one day and drink the next day with no consequences. I think I read it takes 14 days for it to clear your system? This makes me have little faith in my doctor, and I thought I'd ask here where hopefully some people may have some experience with this topic to give me some guidance or to relate their experiences. Is it as simple as 24 hours at a time? I doubt it somehow.

Any advice gratefully appreciated!
Anna xx