Hello Wing, thanks for taking the time to read my posts. Times are hard for me at the moment thats for sure, but I have been here before and know what steps to take to protect myself and my sanity!
My AH is verbally abusive too, I often felt truamatised by his nasty words but as I learned more about addiction I began to understand that his blaming me is just his survival mechanism, it's part of his denial. After all, if I am to blame he has nothing to address does he?
Try and let go of his nasty words, the truth is you were likely the best thing in his life and he has lost you. All he is left with is bitterness...
I am pleased to hear you are getting yourself some help, bit by bit you're happiness will return.
You are not to blame for any of this, addiction is insidious but your saving grace is addiction is his problem, not yours anymore. Take Care.