PM craxy making
been a while since I posted. Spent a year away, and came back to what I'd hoped might be some real progress in my alcoholic wife.
No such luck. Some glimmers of change. Things are improved. But still no where near where they should be. She is no longer passed out. I don't think she drinks two bottles of wine a day. Probably closer to just under one. She's much more discreet now.
Which brings me to the topic of night time crazy making. Anyone else have a drinking spouse who does this?
It goes like this. All is basically well. Nice day. Decent behavior. Nothing really to complain about. But it all goes south as bed time approaches. There appears to be no amount of talking or effort that can change this.
She will pick a fight. Say ridiculous things. Act badly. Accuse me of lying or worse. Anything it seems, just to rile me up. Then I'm up for hours more. And she's out. This is not the rantings of a drunk person. A drinking person, yes. But not a slobbering drunk.
She asks questions that I can not possibly answer or wants to bring up the days challenges for discussion. There is no comprehension that one of us (ME) has to get up and go to work.
If I try to sleep in the other room, she will come in and make an issue.
The other day, I attempted to discuss this. I had what I thought was a reasonable conversation and she seemed to understand. I simply requested some piece and quiet in the home at bed time. It's not like it is total chaos and then I want quiet. I merely ask for the same quiet that we have from after dinner until bedtime. And it is completely impossible to have. Day after day after day.
Just the other day, SHE commented on how tired she was and she stated she wanted to go to bed early. I'm hanging out in our bedroom, with headphones on listening to music and surfing on my ipad. She comes in at 9:30 and wants to go to bed. asks me to turn the light off. So I turn the light off and leave. As it is too early for me to sleep. But I want to respect her wishes. so I depart and say I'll return in a "little bit". 20 minutes later she's busting my chops for not being in the bed with her! Which is hilarious. More crazy ensues. I sleep in the other room.
This actually came up a few weeks prior. In one of her crazy making evenings she went on about how it is not "fair" to her if I want to go to bed early and she's not sleepy! Yet I've never asked for this. Only for quiet when I need to go to bed before here.
So I was surfing the forum today and saw the Quack post.
Yep. Quacking. Nothing else. If the lips are moving, the alcoholic is quacking.
We've not been speaking for 2 days now. It's actually the only way I can get any piece and quiet in the evening. It's kinda nice. If she would just keep NOT TALKING!
She comes downstairs just now, and in the usual pissed off and gruff voice lets me know that I am not to adjust the thermostat "AGAIN". Yet I'm not the one who adjusted it! She did! I haven't touched the stupid thing. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop myself from engaging and telling her such.
Nothing really changes with these people.
In the past I really appreciated the support here. Thanks for listening.