Hello Soberlicious and Fini, thanks for your insight. I've started to get a better perspective throughout the day here. Maybe I'm don't need to try to recreate the immediate high as much as balance out all that anxiety and be happy just feeling good. There are really are a lot of different types of pleasure out there. And while I'm using, I'm only tickling one fun button. (One that burns out VERY quickly at that). I find that I don't always get the pleasure out of it either, but I do always get that crippling anxiety. I need to find more sustainable and reliable sources of "feel good."
Thanks again!