I'm sorry to step in not knowing you or background- but please run, and run now.
If you are on these boards it's because you are recovering from some kind of drug. It's my opinion that you need to continue focusing on YOU. The last thing addicts need is someone weighing them down when we need up. I personally have taken Xanax and drank, and seen many others. If anything it made out words slur and appear more "wasted" without ability to raise our glass, let alone raise out hand to someone.
That's just my experience, and again I don't know you. Something in your post caught my eye. You are strong for attempting or continuing sobriety. Please don't let a man take that from you.