Someone directed me to this site:
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) | What...Me Sober?
It explains PAWS or Post Acute Withdraw Syndrome.
I think that's definitely what I'm experiencing. I don't know why it helps to label how I'm feeling... but somehow it does.
I'm 64 days sober (YAY) but it's slow goings and the second month was WAY harder than the first... And I'm still having a hard time. My biggest trigger right now is that I can't sleep. I often drank to get to sleep... but if my boyfriend was here or awake when I was getting ready for bed I'd take a Vicodin... I was able to sleep okay until about a week ago. I thought this was supposed to get easier. Ok, ok, I'm sure it will. My patience is still a work-in-progress.
That article made me hopeful though, and gave me another reason to stay on the wagon. If I can make it through the period where my body is still craving the substance I'll be home free.
That's my hope for now.
But it's so hard to put up with my twitchy legs and racing thoughts. Benadryl makes me very sleepy, and it crossed my mind to take a dose. But I did not.
Sure Benadryl doesn't seem like a drug, but I'd still be abusing it's purpose. So that was a nice little victory.
Stay sober Melvin... stay sober...