Originally Posted by chickady

Beemer,

Many of the things you described in your post sounded like me when I was with my addict exbf. Buying sweet gifts for sobriety, hoping for a clean day for my addict, wishing for the person I fell in love with to come back, relapsing, becoming angry, acting distant, not being my usual lovey self! I came to the point where I was not internally happy with myself!!

THAT is when you know it is time for you to get away. Your addict gf IS a human just as we are and she is CAPABLE of everything that you have done for her. You must stop enabling her. Enabling a DA, in reality, hurts them in the long term. If you love her as you say you do... you will STOP. If that means that she ends up on the streets, if that means she makes you out to be the worst person possible, SO BE IT. SHE CAN MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS.

I advise you to start making decisions for YOU and not for the 'us' factor or for her.... I am a little under two months sober from my relationship with an addict. I STILL have my down days but my UP DAYS are far outweighing the anxiety and stress I felt while being/staying in the relationship. I have had PEACE even after the FIRST day of being out of the relationship. Peace has been the most important factor for me for NOT going back. You will get anxiety thinking about her well being for awhile but after time passes you will learn that we are ALL capable of our OWN choices.

I pray for the beginning of your healing!!! I promise it is SUCH a beautiful thing!!! It makes for a very grateful mindset!