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Old 11-12-2002, 11:39 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Morning Glory
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Thank you Devastated.

Your message came at a good time for me. I haven't heard from my son in a couple of weeks. I have no way of contacting him and I'm hoping he is ok.

Believe me, my son has called many times to tell me how much he hates me and to blame me for all his problems. I know now that it is his disease talking and not him. I'm learning to separate the disease from the real person. It has helped me a lot not to take it personally.

I'm taking this one day at a time and trying to keep my mind on other things. I could just sit and think about it and cry all day long, but what good would that do.

You did not cause this disease with your son Devastated. You are not to blame. They have a choice and they are not making that choice to get help and work on recovery. We cannont make that choice for them. You are right about carrying their pain and ours. That's where we have more work to do on our own boundaries. We need to learn to separate ourselves from them. We need to learn where we end and where they begin.

I'm still working on it. Hugs to you. There is hope for all of us.

MG