Hi Bob8619,
It's awesome that you have 6 months yourself. I know that is hard work.
It's dysfunctional for sure but not what I would describe as enabling. Not quite as bad as my Dad sending my Recovering Addict Brother to pick up his pain killer prescription, but definitely would set me off on a tangent of trying to control Dad.
I do think your worrying about it is codependent.
I'm finding with my brother who has 19 months sober that he has the tools he needs to keep himself clean but now he needs tools to understand how to be healthy when dealing with people he cares about that aren't yet sober. You sound like you might be in the same boat. We have similar dynamics in our family and I've had to learn that I can't control my brothers drinking/using nor can I control our father's behavior. He does alot of things that I think contribute to our family issues, enabling among other things. But I'm powerless over him and trying to effect change in another person has been like ... ordering my cat to do the laundry.
This Friends and Family forum is a great place to start learning about all of this. Develop healthy boundaries and stop contributing to the family problem. It's been a great help to me.
Glad you are here and hope you will keep reading and posting.
Peace,
Hanna