Hey Beemer. You've been through a lot. Phew!
I've been going to Al Anon nearly daily for the last two months. It is REALLY helping me.
You sound like you're in a place of willingness and maybe some desperation (like I was!) to do something to help yourself feel better.
Can't hurt to give al anon or the other support groups mentioned above a try, ya know?
Go to at least 6 meetings to give it a fair shot and try different meetings in your area to see of there's one you like best.
I'm lucky to live in an area where there are oodles of meetings within 15 miles of my house. So see what you can do.
Things can definitely get better for you as you start focusing in you and helping yourself. Hang in there and keep coming back to read and post on the forum. You're amongst friends who understand here.