Ann

STEP 7

Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

The author talks about her overwhelming fear in her life. Fear of her past, God, recovery, people and herself. She was afraid of this step thinking that if she asked God to remove all her defects there would be nothing left.

She states that there are things that need to go, but we need to hold onto who we are and what makes us special. Some defects will get turned upside down, like caregiving can turn into loving self and others with respect. Obsessing can become determination. Fear needs to just go - unless there is something that needs to save our lives.

Humbly Ask God

This step is pretty straight forward, only one concept. Asking God to remove our defects. While we may have fear around what will be left, this gives us the opportunity to just say "please". We acknowledge that we do not have the power and God does. We do not demand, or whine, we simply let God do for us what we can not do for ourselves.

Trusting the Process

The author did the 7th step just as described in the big book (AA), going off by herself and humbly asking God to remove her defects, those things she found in her 4th and 5th steps. She wasn't sure if a miracle was going to happen as she turned and walked out the door, and she writes that even today she is not exactly sure what is supposed to happen. But she has learned to trust the process. It doesn't happen overnight, but there is nothing to be afraid of.

As time went by she realized she was still doing some things like trying to control, she was aware of it but didn't stop. She would repeat this process until finally she learned to just let go, to surrender. Gradually she saw progress. She saw that letting go took the place of trying to control. She also learned to be grateful for some of the issues from her past and find positive ways it has affected her life. Perhaps the ability to struggle through and persist in bad relationships can become the persistence to succeed in other areas of life, like school or your career.

"All the energy we put into despising and disliking ourselves can be turned positive, can be used to love ourselves."

Then there are those things about ourselves that we simply shouldn't care about, just accept. Perhaps we aren't a good cook. Perhaps we are good at some things and not so good at others. That is ok.

"We will be healed. Self-love and love for others will come to us. Perhaps the most healing gift of all is self-acceptance, an immediate, ever-present acceptance of self, of all we are and have been, and of all we have been through. The more we can accept ourselves, the more we will naturally evolve into who we are destined to become."

The Transformation Steps

The author gives a quick yet detailed list of the transformations she has made in her life. From alcoholic, to drug abuser, to sobriety, to codependent, to learning how to love herself and healing. It has all been a process.

She goes onto explain how it is daily process and she is getting closer to her inner child yet there is another person with her who has walked through everything she has experienced and she has learned to love that person as well, because that is who she is.

There is not long, drawn out answer when one asks how to change ... but the tools are in the 6th and 7th steps.

"Be willing. Become open. Say please. And cherish who you are now, in this moment."

Activities

1. What are your fears about becoming changed? Write about them. Or talk about them with another person.

2. How have you already seen yourself changed? How much of this did you actually have to do? How much were you empowered to do? Reflect on the gradual, natural nature of change in your life.

3. Writing letters is a favorite tool of mine. Write a letter to God, as you understand God. In that letter, talk about what bothers you and what you would like to see changed about you. Ask God to help you change those things in yourself and your life that need changing.

4. If in doubt about what character defects to work on now, ask God to show you clearly what issues in your life would be improved if you would work the Sixth and Seventh Steps on them.

5. Do a creative visualization about yourself. Visual in your mind yourself as you would like to become. See yourself doing and being all that you would like to do and be. Then let it go. Come back to now. Affirm that who you are is good. Affirm self-acceptance and self-love for yourself in the present moment.