Lizatola your posts are great for me because they make me reflect on what's going on and where I am at. I see so much of what you bring up in what I went through or am going through with my RAH.
Please keep focusing on yourself. I went through a phase of wondering if RAH was being genuine but I didn't dwell on it and just kept focusing on myself.
When I finally felt a little more comfortable was after RAH had gone to AA on a regular basis for 6 months or so. It was then that he started relating before/after stories. Those stories helped me realize that he was aware of his addiction and the affect it had on him.
As far as initiating conversation with me he very rarely does that and is trying to more. We are going to counseling and I basically told the counselor I am just about done with being the one to take care of our relationship, drinking or no drinking. She said maybe it's time for me to just wait during this early sobriety. (This is our second round of counseling after the first one over a year ago where RAH was still actively drinking.)
Overall my RAH was always more talkative over the phone than in person. I am not sure why. He talks a lot about body language and how I am often sending him signals that make him not want to talk to me. One time I notice we were having a "discussion" and he got up and walked around behind me to continue the discussion and not look at me. What was up with that, I don't know, but we actually had some resolution in our discussion.
I just want you to know that for me even though I am still putting up with a lot in our damaged relationship and am not always happy of what's going on, I worked really hard to realize that I am ok and I am whole with or without RAH and the feeling that I get from that makes so much of the uncertainty and confusion clear up and be gone.
IMO you can still focus on yourself and make things a lot better than what they are without wondering whether or not your AH is genuine. What I mean is if you are happy to greet your AH with a kiss and a smile than do it. If you want to start a conversation, than do it. Just don't expect and/or try to control your AH response. Live and "let live".
(((HUGS)))