hello vvl71w
l am a addict and a alcoholic and I have seen this situation many times from both sides... She has not hit rock bottom yet! We will always take the easy way out. We are good liars and will do anything to get that bottle or drug. We will use your love for us against you because our true love is the bottle...and most of all we can only help ourselves. She has to hit rock bottom to want to change. You have to want to do anything to stay sober.
You have to be strong and walk away and help yourself. By helping yourself you will in turn be helping both of you. There has to be a change or the loop will keep on going. Tell her she has a choice. Either go into a program and stay in one or you will be gone. her reply prob wont be what you want to hear but she can only learn on her own. You cant change her and you cant trust her. I can only emagine the pain you feel to watch her this way but you cant keep living like this either. You have to be there for your children too, even if they are out of the house. This is affecting them too. Do whats right for you and the kids and pray that she does whats right for her. I hope this helps you and ill pray for all of you!