Anvilhead,
The ENTIRE reason I am here is for help. Isn't that obvious?! I am here, reading Codependent No More, in Alanon 4 nights a week and seeing an individual therapist for HELP. That should be glaringly obvious as I do not want to repeat the same mistakes. However, the fact that basically my entire family is full of addicts really has nothing to do with my choices. I have been around addiction my entire life for reasons/purposes I had no control over.
I came to this site because it dawned on me that my 2 most recent intimate relationships (my ex husband and ex fiancé) are both addicts and I do not want to repeat this again. So yes that is why I'm here.
I am not playing the victim. I am in pain and I'm taking the proper steps to get healthy. I am in a very fragile/vulnerable state right now and the last thing that I (or people newly to SR) need is judgment and finger pointing. You all are MUCH further advanced in your recovery and it's not reasonable to think that I will be at the same level as you all. However, that's why I'm here. This is a work in progress and I'm doing the best I can with the realization that I have just come to terms with: I am codependent. Again, that's why I'm getting help. While all of you have graduated I am still in grade school in terms of this "issue."