Well said Tuffgirl,
I am going to meet with a old friend soon who will likely have this opinion of me divorcing my A. But it is not my job to make her understand.
In the past I have struggled with characterizing my wanting a divorce (he actually filed) as cruel. Even though he ruined our lives financially, made life miserable and threatened to kill me.
It wasn't until I had distance from him and became less enmeshed in his downward spiral of a life that I recognized self-preservation is not cruel.
This life I have isn't a dress rehearsal for the real one I get to live later. This is it - one life - that's what we get. We should treat our lives with respect and be grateful - keeping toxic people out of our lives is key to that mission.
MamaKit