I wish I knew what the angle was I am missing... God do I. What could it be?
I have exhausted myself researching my options for help. There's a dom violence lawyer referral source through the dom violence hotline but they won't even put you in touch with the agency if you don't qualify financially. On paper bc I make around $40k it looks like I have plenty of money. I don't qualify.
I have actually emailed Lundy Bancroft directly asking for his advice/a referral to anyone he knows in my area etc... No reply.
I have read all his stuff on batterers in the court process and it almost seems like xAH has too. He's the one who wants a GAL and for us both to have psych evals bc he can and will manipulate it all and I am anxious and worn out and scared and I will come off looking like I'm less together than him.
Anything I think of it seems he is one step ahead.
The best strategy I've found (can't believe I am admitting to this) is to say NOTHING about his behavior. When I set boundaries he flips out, threatens, accuses etc... (all documented through his lawyer of course). When he thinks he is in charge and able to do whatever he wants with no repurcussions that's the only time he is reasonable to deal with. Obviously I can't live that way. I am completely terrified of him.
My family is totally completely unsupportive, my next door neighbor does not want to be involved in any of this anymore bc I think she's had enough-- any time she is of support to me xAH goes on a character assassination mission with her husband and he buys it all and then she and her H fight so she wants nothing to do with me or xAH...
I feel utterly alone and the domestic violence support in my state offers "advocates" who help with getting restraining orders and will listen when you want to talk.
Even my own lawyer doesn't get it some days...