Call me old school but I’ve never fully grasped the whole long distance relationship thing. I would imagine it’s convenient to have someone that you mainly only have to deal with on the phone, text messages and emails. They are not fully present much like the alcoholic and drug addict. I guess it works for some people. Is what you are doing to this new guy fair - NO - kind of sabotaging it for yourself before it even has a chance to grow.
And I guess the big decision facing you is work on your own issues or continue to place his issues center stage.