In July of last year I reached out to a recovering friend asking for help because I knew I had a problem. I tried to regulate through the end of the year. I came here in December knowing I had a problem after a Christmas binge and the resolve to quit completely. That lasted two weeks. Since then I've had lots and lots of 2 weeks because my mind has tried and tried to hold onto the hope I can get a grip and drink normally again with my friends... while also telling me it's time to quit.
I've accepted the fun drinking days are over and God has presented me with a crossroads. Either keep hoping for those normal and fun drinking days and the life they trick me to believe comes along with them...
Or accept the past 12 years of my abnormal drinking weren't by accident. I won't be able to change... and it's time to move on.
I'm working on choosing my health, my family, and my future over any buzz and the hell that follows... from the bottle.
I've read enough posts from wise folks' here as well as people really struggling to know reality is just what it is. Reality... I'm accepting mine.
It sure hasn't been easy but my reflections on the past and focus on the future are coming together. Slowly. Real slowly. =). I sure wish you the best.
