Anxious
It's 8:56 am and I'm feeling anxious. My wife has been able to call me once a day, usually in the morning but today she has a court date today. Court shall determine if she is going back for life as the state is asking for, or come home after whatever sanctions they impose. Anywho, she may not get the opportunity to call home because she is in transit or they don't let herout of her cell until the transport comes or...
And so, though her fate is determined today, I can't find out till she calls and regardless of whether she can call today or not - I probably won't find out what her fate is until tomorrow because even if she can call today, it'll be before the closed hearing.
She said goodbye yesterday. It was cryptic as our conversation is monitored, but it nevertheless was goodbye in the event that she gets life. She's done twenty-four years; she isn't going to do another twenty-four. I knew that about her already...so, basically waiting to hear whether or not she's got the death penalty...and I can't figure a way I'll find out before tomorrow and the idea that I may have spoken to her for the last time yesterday is starting to push aside any other thoughts and any attempt to stay in the here and now.