I have to agree with Tuffgirl.
Thinking back to when I was getting divorce, my ex had some very unrealistic expectations. He did not want to share holidays, he wanted it ALL. He wanted both Christmas Eve AND Christmas day, ALL of summer vacation, and on and on.......
I gambled and agreed, it was quite scary. Guess what? He did not Ever take advantage of the court order he so bullied me for.
At the time he had the crazy Charlie Sheen mentality, the "Winning" ..... it was all about him berating me and beating me down. He was a control freak, and had to have the upper hand. When I stopped playing his nasty game, it was truly over.
You don't necessarily have to have a court order to do this, perhaps just offering him additional visitation, allow him to think he is in the drivers seat.... fill his ego to the brim, perhaps he will choke.
Wishing you peace.