I know what it means to be in fear of that next relapse, and feeling like you have to watch like a hawk, that was me for ten long years. My Aw has been in recovery that long, and am very familiar with that feeling of waiting for the shoe to drop. Integrating the 3Cs into my outlook has helped, it has stopped me from worrying about what things might or might not cause a relapse - if she drinks it is her business, all I need to focus on is what my response should be and preserving my own sanity. If you think your kids need to be educated about alcoholism and how to help their dad and themselves, you might want to think about introducing that, without reference to a specific incident.