Dear jmartin, I am so glad that you are able to find help by being on this forum--no doubt, you help others who are having experiences similar to yours. Just knowing that our problems are not as unique as we think--that we are not alone--always seems to be of some comfort.
I agree that you need as much support as you can get, right now. Good that you are willing to hang in there a bit longer in alanon (many people feel the same way as you in the beginning). Just curious--were all the members female? Any guys there?
Some people find that individual counseling gives them individual attention that is badly needed. In addition, if you can find a long-recovering alcoholic (I mean several years), who has worked all the steps--they can be golden to discuss your situation with. Nobody understands alcoholics like another alcoholic.
I hope some of this is of some help to you. Congratulations on your courage to move forward.
very sincerely, dandylion