Originally Posted by
redatlanta 
Tit for tat doesn't work in relationships. Is it that he made the commitment or is that he has no interest in helping out with your friends? Is it because it wasn't your idea? Did husband volunteer you because he is being an Ass or because he was simply doing what people do in times of illness which is to support each other?
Pick and choose your battles. If its an issue for you to do it then I would tell him since he is home this weekend to purchase some pre-cooked meals and deliver them before he leaves.
If its really not an issue and it just makes you mad that he doesn't offer equal support then I would most likely get over myself and help the folks.
Husbands, even non-A ones, are known to commit their wives to such deeds LOL.
To answer your question, it's both. His attitude about my friend's cancer was bordering on rage where he went on and on about how she brought it on herself. It was awful. It also brings to light his attitude about my son's friend who passed away in the fall and how my son didn't want to tell ah because of the reaction he thought he would get.
He admitted in therapy that he is not a compassionate person yet I think he is. He just seems to pick and choose who he will be compassionate to. I mean, he gave mouth to mouth to a dying man 2 weeks ago while my son watched. My son helped roll the guy over and this man's opponent gave chest compressions. The man died while my son watched and my ah truly did heroic efforts to try to save him before the paramedics came. This was at a public tennis facility.
I guess what I find befuddling is that he seems to be a walking contradiction. Sometimes his words don't match his behavior and sometimes they do.
As for the food, I already agreed but I am going to pick up food at an Italian place. I really don't have the time this week. I figure it's the thought that counts.