I second what Anvil said. There are very brief and fleeting moments of perceived happiness with an active and/or non-recovering addict. It's mostly pain and fear. The perceived happiness can be so intense and deceiving because it is short-lived, which is why these relationships are so addicting themselves because we end up craving more. It's like hanging out on a sinking ship and waiting for the firework show, and in the meantime, while we are going down with the ship we are mesmerized by all the pretty lights and explosions and can't see the impending doom. I think it's the adrenaline rush and not true happiness- just from my experience.