Thanks for the topic, Kindeyes.
Upon entering AA, I decided that it was an ideal setting for deciding exactly what kinds of interactions I did and did not want, and firmly putting that into practice.
Where I live, some groups are very huggy. Many people hug automatically, and even those who ask first are taken aback when I decline. Light touch in passing, or when saying something to me, is another form of presumptuously invading my space. So I'm experimenting with different ways of making physical boundaries clear.
Listening to unsolicited advice is another way of saying yes, of giving away my time and energy for the sake of someone else's feelings, when I really want to say no. Saying no is ultimately a YES to what I want to do, to how I want to spend my energy and whose feelings I prioritize.
Then there are all the personal questions about what I've shared, and people wanting to share their own stories. Oh, and people wanting to touch and/or play with the animal that accompanies me to many meetings.
Saying No in these ways is a recipe for hearing a lot of opinions, diagnoses, evaluatives etc.
People have expressed concern that I'm isolating myself from fellowship. Or that I'm suffering from "terminal uniqueness" or any number of other bingo terms. Their reactions and discomfort give me yet another area in which to practice that their reactions are none of my business.
Outside the rooms, saying No is getting easier. Holding my ground around professionals who claim to know better has always been really hard for me. I was signed up to be a hairdressser-in-training's color model next week, and found out today that he'll be using a technique that simply doesn't give the results I want, no matter how well it's done. To my surprise, out slipped "That method has never worked well for me, so it'll be better if you find someone else for that class."
Lots of room to grow, and I'm finding some middle ground and softer-sounding ways of getting to the same end results.