Do you mean emotional intimacy or physical (sexual) intimacy, or both? sorry if that's a weird question! I was just curious because last night I was reading Women Who Love Too Much..there is a chapter about sexual intimacy after being in recovery from "loving too much". I found it really interesting, relatable, and something I had never thought about before. The main theme is "Having used their sexuality as a tool to manipulate a difficult or impossible man into loving them, once that challenge is removed they don't know how to be sexual with a loving, giving partner." Another really good quote from it is
"What you are going through now is something that many women who have similar histories to yours, and who have been able to recover, find themselves facing when they begin to relate to a man who is an appropriate partner. The excitement, the challenge, the old knot in the stomach just aren't there, and since that's what 'love' has always felt like before, they are afraid that something very important is missing. What's missing is the craziness, the pain, the fear, the waiting, and the hoping.
Now, for the first time, you've got a nice, steady, reliable man who adores you, and you don't have to work on him to change him. He already has the qualities you've wanted in a man, and he's made a commitment to you. The trouble is, you've never experienced having what you wanted before. You've only known what it was like not to have it, and to work like crazy to try and get it. You're used to the yearning and the suspense, which creates a lot of heart-pounding excitement. Will he, won't he? Does he, doesn't he?"
Anyway if you weren't referring to that at all you can just disregard this comment lol.
although I think the second quote could be regarding any sort of intimacy. just a thought. Otherwise, I would say don't be so hard on yourself! Like everyone else said, there really is no time limit for this stuff. Be gentle on yourself.